Quotes by Paula Poundstone

Paula Poundstone

I confess that when I first read that smog is particularly hazardous to children, senior citizens, and physically active people, for a brief moment I thought, “I’m in the clear for at least 10 more years.”

Children

Senior

Years

I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name and apparently that’s the key to the whole thing right there. I go in every few weeks and guess.

Keys

Mother

Names

I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name.

Funny

Money

Mother

I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.

Firsts

Home

Kids

I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.

Cat

Dog

Years

I happen to be a devout atheist. I don’t believe in God. I still go to church — I’m not a heathen. I go to an atheist church. We have crippled guys who stand up and testify that they were crippled, and they still are.

Atheist

Believe

Guy

I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.

Activity

Hair

Hate

I have short-term memory loss, though I’d like to think of it as Persidential eligibility.

Loss

Memories

Thinking

I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.

Loss

Memories

Thinking

I love key lime pie, although it’s never made the proper way.

Keys

Pie

Way

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Activity

Alabama

Alaska

Atheist

Bags

Bed

Believe

Blow

Book

Brother

California

Cat

Children

Community

Constitution

Cows

Dark

Deer

Definitions

Degrees

Depressing

Dieting

Dog

Domes

Done

Exercise

Eye

Firsts

Focus

Funny

Giving

Guy

Hair

Hate

Hell

Home

Interesting

Keys

Kids

Knowledge Is Power

Knows

Land

Law

Library

Lines

Loss

Memories

Mistake

Money

Months

The Future Blueprint

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The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

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Quotes by Paula Poundstone

Paula Poundstone

I confess that when I first read that smog is particularly hazardous to children, senior citizens, and physically active people, for a brief moment I thought, “I’m in the clear for at least 10 more years.”

I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name and apparently that’s the key to the whole thing right there. I go in every few weeks and guess.

I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name.

I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.

I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.

I happen to be a devout atheist. I don’t believe in God. I still go to church — I’m not a heathen. I go to an atheist church. We have crippled guys who stand up and testify that they were crippled, and they still are.

I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.

I have short-term memory loss, though I’d like to think of it as Persidential eligibility.

I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.

I love key lime pie, although it’s never made the proper way.

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Topics by Paula Poundstone

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